I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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