what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
