When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you had me at cake vodka
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
