Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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