Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
