SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
