If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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