so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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