I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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