Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
