she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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