Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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