I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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