I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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