just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
