I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
