He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
