I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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