So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
