My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize