you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
