thus making me awesome and them whores
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
