My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
