I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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