Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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