Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have fence marks all over my body
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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