i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
