oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
