stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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