I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
