I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
