why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
