I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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