You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
