Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
