we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
