i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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