He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
