I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
