Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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