i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
