My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize