Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
