I want to make a zoo with you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
