You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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