Hey man sorry I got all grabby
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's never too late to be topless.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
