His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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