You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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