I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
