Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
high people should be assigned attendants
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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