My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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