The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
