At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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