Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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