the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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