We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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