Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
