When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
