She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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