bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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